Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
