I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
