How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize