Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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