Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
this boner is exhausting
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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