Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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