is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
