yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
