rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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