He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He did a backflip because drugs
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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