Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
