those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
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