can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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