Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
