So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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