It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
