it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
barbara walters just said penis...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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