so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
