we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
