There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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