I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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