You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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