somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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