What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
