i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
