K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just cut my nipple shaving
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
