Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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