You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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