Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
