Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
