Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
