He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
