I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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