I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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