remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
