Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
