spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
