You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize