it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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