She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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