Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
