you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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