ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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