I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
