haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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