well you can't waste a boner
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize