I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
