Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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