so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
