I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
is it fun? or sober?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
