I just saw a hot homeless man
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
