who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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