For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
