He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
