You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
