My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
