Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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