were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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