This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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