I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i out mim tonsoeep
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
