But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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