okay pat passed out under dana's car
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
my being single is dangerous.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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