what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
