I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
