he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He did a backflip because drugs
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
