She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
