I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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